It happened in Spain

My brother lives in Spain. In Spain you can buy cava (Spanish Champagne) at the gas station while you pay for your diesel fuel.  My brother-in-Spain got up to the counter with his gas station cava – actually a respectable brand – when the young gas attendant said to him something like (and I translate from the original Spanish), “Dude. You can totally get a better deal on this other cava because it’s 2 for 1″.

Slightly taken aback, my brother-in-Spain initially opted NOT to follow the advice of the clerk selling petrol, gum, soccer scarfs, and pairs of fine Spanish sparkling wines.  Fortunately he came to his senses. “Of course I’m following the wine purchasing advice of gas attendant – I’d be loco not to.  Also, this feels like an SNL skit“.

When in Canada I buy  these cava.  They aren’t 2 for 1, and they’re not available at Norm’s Esso, but they’re good sparklers.

Freixenet

Segura Viudas

Phil’s wine

Phil Andrews is probably most recognized as the managing editor of the Guelph Mercury.  What is little known about Phil is that he recently entered the world of wine making.  Admittedly that involved pouring a packet of yeast into a container at the wine shop in a suburban strip mall, but a wine maker nonetheless.

Phil’s venture into wine began with a Pinot Grigio started on St. Patrick’s Day this year. He has named it Pinot Greenio (or something like that). Historically, this may be the first time that alcohol and St Patrick’s day have ever gone together.

Phil arranged a meeting with me, as the resident wine blogger, to drop off  a bottle of the wine.  I gave him my word that I would be honest in my assessment.  For his part he wanted me to sign a waiver  in the event that I went blind drinking his wine.

Pinot Grigio wines are meant to be consumed early.  This one qualifies as it is less that 2 months old. I opened it and gave a glass to my wife – not because I was scared of it. Her first response was “Mmm, this is light”.  Now Phil, I think you should be very pleased with that.  Amongst the things that she could have said was, “Is this homemade?”, “Oh, I don’t like that at all”, or “What is this?”.

Verdict – We found the wine very light in colour, in the Italian style of Grigio  and light in taste.  It bordered dangerously on being watery but was crisp and acidic enough to keep us sipping.   We agreed that we would spend $8 on it at the LCBO.

Well done Phil the wine maker. Let’s arrange another drop off.

Color variations among different styles of Pinot gris. (L-R) Italian Pinot Grigio with a straw yellow color, Alsatian Pinot gris with a lemon color, Oregon Pinot gris with a copper-pink color

Water – I’m not convinced

For the past 3 years I have tried to point out the insanity of drinking water instead of rosé.  Odourless, colourless, tasteless?  Who puts that in their body?  This is what my new research on the internet has found – and it wasn’t easy to research as most sites still tell you that water is good for you.

1. Water contains bacteria – eek
2. A woman lost her sight drinking too much water – that’s one too many for me
3. The human body is mostly water already – so why waste your time
4. Water vapour is invisible as a gas – it may be around you and you don’t even know it!
5. The water molecule carries a slight negative charge – NEGATIVE CHARGE!

If those 5 facts, from internet sources including Wikipedia, don’t convince you then maybe the Vintages annual release of Spanish rosado – Muga – will.

MUGA ROSÉ 2011
VINTAGES 603795
Price: $ 12.95
Made in: Rioja, Spain
By: Bodegas Muga S.A.
Release Date: May 12, 2012

Gord on my nerves again

Gord Stimmell is the Toronto Star’s wine columnist and he’s written about another fantastic wine.  Last year he did the same thing and I couldn’t get the wine for almost 3 weeks because it was sold out.  At that time I called Gord a jerk. The irony (and schadenfreude) was that after the article  Gord went to his local LCBO  to buy his recommended wine  only to find out that it was sold out. In the words of Nelson Muntz, “Ha, Ha”.

Gord is at it again. This is from his column this week in the Toronto Star. “Our top three performers on the general list …(blah, blah, blah) …  I’ve saved the best for last. The Jacob’s Creek merited a huge 92 score, stunning for a general list wine under $20. …(yadda, yadda, yadda) I am rushing out to buy a half case before this column appears in print. Cheers!”

Maybe it’s just me – but I interpret “cheers” as “nuts to you“.  Gord – I can’t find your wine anywhere – and it really only makes me mad because the scope of  your influence fills me with envy. You’re a powerful man Gord – I’m scared of you.

This man both scares me and fills me with envy

I did it my way

I discovered a way to instantly age my wine this past weekend and all it took was a steady hand and a blue Sharpie. I started by making it an 1891 vintage – which seemed absurd – and ended up with a very approachable 2001 – a very good year for Tuscan wine.

“Stop the press!”

Is there really anybody who works at a newspaper that can yell “stop the press!” anymore?  That would be one of the greatest moments in an editor’s life. I have a newspaper editor friend and he can only remember it happening once.  Doesn’t it seem like J. Jonah Jameson yells it all the time in the Spiderman comics? Maybe that’s “PARKER!”.

One of the greatest moments in a wine-writer’s life is the discovery of a new great wine – and by great I mean inexpensive – and by new I mean I haven’t purchased it before – and by wine I mean … well I guess the rest is literal.

Here’s a great wine that I found at the LCBO – to be truthful  Gord Stimmell (Toronto Star) found it first and that’s how I found it – Gord, sorry about calling you a jerk last year. I love Bardolino – it is the forgotten grape of Veneto, Italy.  Everyone is usually all like “I love the Ripasso, and oooh the Amarone, etc etc“.  I’m all like, “I love the sour freshness of the Bardolino” and then I break into the song Oklahoma (using the word Bardolino – try it now – it’s compelling).

Hey Gord, looks like Decanter magazine also likes your Bardolino – “You’re looking fine Bardolino …“

MONTE DEL FRÁ BARDOLINO 2010
VINTAGES 134544 | Price: $ 12.95

Working for the Queen

The Queen of the wine writers is unquestionably Canada’s own Natalie MacLean.  Consider the following…

The Queen has  asked me to contribute a blog post to her Über-website at nataliemaclean.com and frankly I was afraid to say no – she’s that powerful.

Each month I am writing about my observations on wine culture in different countries all the while trying to impress Natalie. My first entry on America (fyi I married an American) is here.

Speaking of those awards, really, who’s ever heard of James Beard or Le Cordon Bleu.  Come on Natalie, try to  impress me too.

Drink this Wine – Part 2

If you don’t drink white wine then you’re either loco or stubborn – or being stubbornly loco.

When it comes to white wine, overly 0aked chardonnay is not my forté – besides that there’s always the risk of having a black fly ironically land in it.  You may recall that America’s founding fathers tried to pass a law against overly oaked chardonnay – apparently unsuccessfully.  What is my forté is a crisp refreshing drink.  This one, from Spain, is probably the best white in the $10 range at the LCBO.

MARQUES DE RISCAL WHITE
LCBO 36822 | Price: $ 10.90

Delicioso, fresco y ácido, servir a enfriarse ( gracias traductor de google)

And for those of you interested – Marqués de Riscal translates Marqués of Riscal. I did that without google.

200 – Thanks

This is crazy that I’ve made over 200 blog posts. The average blog has the lifespan of a fruit fly – and maybe the same intelligence. I really only started the blog so that my brother-in-Spain had something to look up on the internet and laugh at. He still does. In fact he recently nominated me for the First Annual Montgomery Burns Award for Outstanding Achievement in the Field of Excellence.

Perhaps my biggest accomplishment is that I’ve managed to write in references to  David Beckham, Jay-Z, Albert Einstein, Dante,  Don Cherry, Dana Carvey, AC/DC, Wolf Blitzer, John Wayne and James Bond, groundskeeper Willy, Freddy Mercury, Bugs Bunny, Speedy Gonzales, the classic camp song “Found a Peanut”, Al Gore (several times), Troy Polamalu, , Col. Robert Hogan, Oklahoma the musical, a Tim Burton painting,  Batman, Bernadette, Thomas Jefferson, Mario my olive vendor, and several references to my PE degree from York.

Thanks to Andrew who taught me how to use a computer and WordPress. Thanks to my wife – who approves all my posts – if she reads it and doesn’t laugh out loud then I rewrite it. Thanks to the Guelph Mercury who carries my blog on their web page. Also, thanks to my sister-in-law in Spain, I’ve started posting my blogs at 1 am (7 am her time) so that she can be the first to read them.  She’s ready to laugh as quickly as anyone.

I’m not sure when I might run out of things to write about. Clearly lots of things amuse me because clearly I amuse easily.

70,000 internet views can’t be from just relatives and that linktrap guy.

This Spring – Cabernet Franc

Ontario makes great Cabernet Franc wines because Cabernet Franc is Ontario’s best red wine varietal. That’s my Hemingway-esque declarative statement for the day.  I also could have used “It was a good wine because it was an honest wine” - but that seemed dangerously close to plagiarism.

It’s what we drank this weekend with an enormous rack of pork.  Cab Franc has a bit of a vegetal / grassy taste to it that reminds me of new green grass or capers.  This one was also slightly sour or tangy, but the tannins were perfect.

ROSEHALL RUN COLD CREEK CABERNET FRANC 2008 VINTAGES 149039 | Price: $ 18.95