I’m not always the world’s cheapest husband – but sometimes I like to see if I can save a little money and see if anyone noticed.
I have my parameters around this demi-mantra. I don’t buy cheap chicken [that seems like an unnecessary health risk] and I don’t stay in cheap hotels [same reason].
But last week I tried buying the cheapest red wine possible at the LCBO and didn’t tell my wife. And in a class re-creation of a Life cereal experiment I let my wife try it first. Guess what? “She likes it! Hey Mikey!” [if you are under the age of 40 you have no idea why I just wrote that].
Seriously a decent wine for $7.45? Hooray for the Cheap Husband!
Sometimes I get in the spirit of sophistication and order a martini. There are many great quotes about the Martini. Gin or Vodka is a question for another time.
“A man must defend his home, his wife, his children, and his martini.” Jackie Gleason
“He knows just how I like my martini – full of alcohol.” Homer Simpson
”I had never tasted anything so cool and clean.” “They made me feel civilized.” Ernest Hemingway novel Farewell to Arms.
“I never go jogging, it makes me spill my martini.” George Burns
With this in mind I visited Dillon’s Small Batch Distillers in Beamsville, ON. I had already purchased the White Rye from the LCBO but wanted to have a go at the Gin and the Eau de Vie. The Gin is a botanical lovers dream – delicate enough that I think the gin martini made with it should be straight. That’s so dry that you aren’t even allowed to think the word Vermouth while pouring it. The people at Dillon’s also have a little bit of fun on their website – PulltheCork approved fun! In their Spirit descriptors they mention Papa Hemingway, Khan [the Mongolian ruler not the Star Trek guy], Smith and Wesson, and generally entertain throughout. Their collection of bitters would make any mixologist giggle like a school girl – well maybe only if they liked making cocktails – but you get the point.
If you are driving down the QEW past Beamsville stop in and have a look – their tasting room is simply stunning. Otherwise stop in at the LCBO – the Gin is dang good.
Few things give me greater pleasure than mentioning Albert Einstein in my blog. Here goes …
Hey Uncle Albert – fish are stupid!
This got me to thinking about stupid beer. If you are going to spend your whole life drinking cheap beer then you will live your whole life believing that it is good – and that you are a genius. If, however, you want to really be a genius then you have to try new stuff – like Muskoka Brewery’s Detour IPA. This weekend I had it on tap at Baker Street Station in Guelph and found it again in a 6-pack at the LCBO.
I think “Stop drinking stupid beer” should be on the front of the Detour IPA t-shirt. This is a big hop ale with a clean finish that is the perfect detour from winter beer drinking to clean, genius, spring beer drinking. I think Uncle Albert would approve.
And I want a kick back on the “Stop drinking stupid beer” t-shirt sales.
Stopped by the LCBO today. This was hanging on the exterior wall of the building. I’m not exactly sure what is going on here? It looks like a Zara ad. Hey outrageously good looking [likely French] dude , watch out or that overly affectionate lady is going to spill red wine all over your new white sweater!
When my man Orest throws a party it’s a good one. This Saturday [the 14th] at the LCBO Scottsdale in Guelph there is a party and you are invited. I know that because I was invited and the guy who invited me told me to invite you too. The party is PINOT for the PEOPLE [sounds very "French Revolutionary" but with glasses of wine instead of beheadings]. With 10 confirmed producers attending there will be lots to choose from. So if you’ve always wanted to be a wine locavore then this is the time to start.
For a modest $10 admission [which goes to the United Way of Guelph] you can taste Ontario Pinots and taste food stuffs from OX Guelph [I've seen the sneak preview menu and it's very good - pork rillettes, mussels, lamb skewers]. Come and meet the owners and winemakers of some of Ontario’s finest.
On my most recent visit to the wine store I was approached by another customer. I took this as a sign that I appeared to be a confident shopper and therefore likely to have answers for a lady who frankly, looked lost. “Excuse me”, she started, “do you put rum in your piña coladas?” she asked.
I was completely taken back. I looked down at my shirt thinking maybe I had the same one on as the employees. I didn’t. I realized I wasn’t really sure what she had just asked me.
“Do I put rum in MY piña coladas?”, I replied, “Or do you mean is rum the alcohol that is used to make piña coladas?”.
By this time I had said the words “piña colada” more than any other time in my life combined. I’ve also never had a piña colada so I wasn’t sure of the answer.
Then I became alarmed. Not because I started singing that horrible “If You Like Piña Coladas” song [which I haven't gotten out of my head yet], and not because I didn’t know the answer, but because apparently I looked like a guy who drinks piña coladas.
That’s not the look I’m going for. I may not get over this for a while.
For the record the last rum I purchased was a sipping rum and it was delicious.
APPLETON ESTATE EXTRA RUM
LCBO 105742 | 750 mL bottlePrice $ 35.95
If I drink wine from BC am I a locavore? I feel like I am – but maybe I’m just a patriot. I do live in Ontario and the distance between my house and the interior of British Columbia is 1000 miles shorter than the drive from Paris to Moscow! Ridiculous country.
I can’t decide
I do know that there are many good wines from BC coming this weekend to an LCBO near you!
I have found a solution to a problem that has plagued mankind for ages – or at least its plagued me for a couple of years. What are the best inexpensive wines that I can buy time and time again and still feel happy about the quality of wine I am buying. Here is the happy trio …
I am buying 2 of these each time I go into the store. That way I always have memories of Spain, France, and Italy at my fingertips. Hopefully I am doing my part to keep my Spanish, French, and Italian friends happy by picking a wine from each of their countries. What am I – Swiss?