Wine Snob coaching

I can help you look like a wine snob.  All you need is a couple of standard lines that can be used with any wine and then you speak them with utmost confidence.  Don’t be fooled either into thinking that you are the only one doing this.  I had an LCBO sommelier tell me that there were smokey overtones to the wine we were trying – I believed him because after all on the wine snob ladder he is clearly higher up than I am.   

Furthermore, it is fun to be a wine snob every once in a while (see my previous post “Of course I’m a Wine Snob“).  James Bond is a wine snob and look how much fun he has.   

So here’s how it goes.  Swirl the wine, drink the wine, stare at it pensively and say (when asked) one of these lines ….   

“An amusing little wine (pause) of course it’s totally incompetent”. – Use this if you feel that you need to be at the top of the wine snob ladder   

“Oh its brave enough in the bottle, but pull the cork and it panics” – use this if you need to move up the ladder but don’t necessarily need to be at the top (i.e. your boss is also in the room and fancies themself a wine snob).   

Footnote – these are two of my favorite quotes by Col Hogan to Col Klink in different episodes.  I confess that I watched through 5 seasons to find the 2nd quote because I couldn’t remember it.   

Col. Hogan - self professed wine snob with Col. Klink and Sgt. Schultz (the greatest sitcom character of all-time)

About Travis Oke

Wine writer / consultant View all posts by Travis Oke

5 responses to “Wine Snob coaching

  • John

    I thought you would appreciate James love for Champagne – do the same rules apply a la Col. Hogan?

    What is the most popular drink that Bond consumes in the movies? Champagne; 35 times. This is followed by the vodka martini 22 times, then red wine 10 times. Whiskey and whisky are quite popular with Bond as well, followed by a smattering of brandy, rum, sake, ouzo, port, white wine and sherry (among others).

  • Travis Oke

    It’s that kind of research that keeps me donating money to the Statistics Council

  • pdpace

    I usually like to swirl it around, smell it, sip it, then if it’s nasty I exclaim, “I see NOTHING!!!”

  • Brother in Spain

    Very happy that you found the Hogan’s quote! What episode was it in? We’ve been faithfully watching every night in order to find the right episode. Just watched “Klink’s Old Flame”. . . “HAVE A DRINK MARLENA!!!!” Good stuff!

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