Passportless in Pennsylvania

Last week I vacationed in Pennsylvania.  Wonderful place – 20 years ago I found my wife there.  Good times.

Last week I told a cashier, “this is the weirdest country in the world”.  I smiled as I said it, so as not to appear offensive [one should do that when insulting a country as patriotic as America], but I meant every word of it.

Long story short – I couldn’t buy beer because I didn’t have my passport with me.

These are some of the reasons that I think that is strange.

  1. I have been of legal drinking age for the past 30 years
  2. In PA you can’t buy beer in a grocery store at the checkout counter.  Oh, the beer is there are the store but you have to buy it at the sandwich / coffee counter.
  3. No really – the same place that you pay for your $1.29 coffee is the same place you pay for your beer.
  4. Because we couldn’t have people buying beer at the main checkout lines.
  5. I needed my passport because I have a Canadian drivers license = foreign drivers license = “we don’t trust any licensing agencies but our own sir”
  6. In Ohio they would have sold me beer as long as I had cash [my lawyer Aunt reassured me]
  7. I tried to go to the beer “store” [it’s more like an old drive through oil lube place] but could only purchase beer in a minimum quantity of 24
  8. The beer / oil lube guys thought it was funny that I was trying to buy less than 24 beer – and looked at me as if I was an alien [which legally I suppose I am down there]
  9. I was nuts not to buy 24 cans since it was only $16 – and that may be the craziest part of this story.

America – you’re beautiful, I love you, thanks for my wife, and catch you next time with my passport.

When my brother showed up with his passport we bought Yuenling - Black and Tan and Lord Chesterfield. And I got a small coffee

When my brother showed up with his passport we bought Yuengling – Black and Tan and Lord Chesterfield. And I got a small coffee

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About Travis Oke

Wine writer / consultant View all posts by Travis Oke

2 responses to “Passportless in Pennsylvania

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