Sometimes a man [which I’m] needs to do something noteworthy and daring – to bleed to know he’s alive. And since my bridge jumping days are over this is what i came up with.
I’ve done my part to get spring kickstarted by being the first person on two different patios in Guelph already. Some people are comparing it to Neil Armstrong’s giant leap for mankind – admittedly it’s not “some people”, it’s only me. Yet the servers at both establishments were suitably impressed. So this blog post is really a guide to being first in space [opening patios] after a ridiculously cold [i.e. nobody believes in global warming anymore] winter.
OX was the first up in early March. I picked OX because it’s sheltered from the wind and a bit of an oasis in downtown Guelph. My adventure opening the patio at the Wooly came later.
- Step 1 – bring a blanket, metal chairs are cold on the bum. Bring a friend so that you can both convince yourself this was a good idea when you get numb.
- Step 2- walk up to the bar and order a stout or brown ale, something that has roasted malts. An hoppy IPA will do if you can’t find a brown ale suitable to your tastes.
- Step 3 – walk through the bar, open the patio door like you know what you’re doing, and set up camp. Beer in the snow, blanket protecting your gluteals
- Step 4 – be a little smug