Category Archives: Wine writing

#WineWorldCup2018 predictor

As the only wine blogger with a Physed degree*  i feel it’s my duty to comment on, and predict a winner for the FIFA World Cup tournament happening right now in Russia.

Many methods are used to predict sportsing ball winners.  Paul the Octopus, Achilles the deaf Oracle cat, and Flopsy the Kangaroo are just some of the animals used to predict a winner.   So I thought, rather than use animals, metrics or “algorithms” [whatever they are] to predict a winner, let’s look at the wine produced by each country to predict a winner.  Here’s my argument for each team that i think has a chance to win.

4th Place – Germany.  Their Fußball team takes a back seat to nobody. But the fear of mispronouncing “Gewürztraminer” (German: [ɡəˈvʏɐ̯tstʁaˈmiːnɐ]) sadly places them low on the #WineWorldCup2018 list.

3rd Place – Portugal. I don’t love Portuguese wines that aren’t Port, with the exception of  a Vinho Verde on a warm day – but Portugal’s best and most beautiful player, Ronaldo, is a teetotaler – so his team can’t really be taken seriously. But hey, if you’re the best looking man on the pitch with over 2 billion people watching did you really lose?

Runner Up – France. My favourite thing about the French soccer team is their kit [or jersey as we say this side of the pond] featuring le coq. My second favourite thing is rose wine from any French region.

Le coq

Paparazzi photo of me drinking Rosé in Provence

#WineWorldCup 2018 Winner – Spain. One word – “Muga”. I have a well documented love affair with this pink nectar, the love child of Dionysus and Ariadne. It’s certainly the most photogenic wine in the world. Take that Cristiano Ronaldo.

Paparazzi photo of Muga in my back yard

Wines to drink this summer …

Muga Rosé 2017 Spain

—VINTAGES#: 603795   |   750 mL bottle $14.95 Released June 9

La Vieille Ferme Rose France

—LCBO#: 622134   |   750 mL bottle $11.95

Alianca Vinho Verde Portugal

—LCBO#: 75663   |   750 mL bottle $9.35

Pierre Sparr Gewürztraminer

it’s actually from Alsace but close enough right, and hey, another vote for France

—LCBO#: 373373   |   750 mL bottle $17.95

*footnote re. being the only wine blogger with a PE degree [a fact that i can’t actually verify so can somebody please add me as a reliable source on Wikipedia]

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Bubbly

Cremant de Loire in front of the tree

Marie Antoinette glass [wikipedia that – heh]


Beaujolais Nouveau 2017 winners

“The only party i throw each year” was a resounding success again. The wine was good, the friends were good, Godzilla made an appearance, i got a new t-shirt [big props JB], and here’s the proof.  My research tells me that the LCBO sells out 50% of their Nouveau in the first weekend. Pick some up for this year’s Christmas party. I keep one for Easter – that’s how i roll.

 

The glasses were ready

Godzilla made an appearance on this year’s Nouveau chalkboard. He was so busy drinking Nouveau that he picked up a bus and put it back down. Good news Tokyo.

The wines

The logo on a t-shirt


French Fiction

A friend asked me this week if I’ve heard any tasting notes on this year’s Beaujolais Nouveau. Released in two weeks time for those of you keeping track.

The truth is that the French have no idea what the Nouveau tastes like because they’re exporting it all and keeping the good stuff for themselves.  I honestly believe they hire a fiction writer to do tasting notes.  They have to – nobody French has touched “le stuff”.

Or maybe they’re programming AI machines to come up with a series of words that have to do with wine that they can pass off as tasting notes and then laugh their French derrières off at us.

Here’s the truth – I don’t even care. I love Nouveau and my Nouveau party and I absolutely embrace the idea of being scammed by the French.

Vive la Nouveau.  In fact, I nominate Beaujolais Nouveau for the Albertine Prize – “best contemporary French Fiction in English translation”.

Here’s some other French fiction for your consideration. IDK, “the Mitterand Years” made me giggle.



Combating Water

In the beginning there was Spring. Or maybe Summer. But definitely not Winter!

Spring is here. That means it’s time for my annual water rant. I promise you this one is not unjustified or unfounded and it may be even Biblical.

I’m so sick and tired of “water people”. Honestly, last week i mentioned that i might have a slight sinus infection and somebody says to me “maybe you’re not drinking enough water”. Then my stomach growled in a meeting, “maybe you’re not drinking enough…” – Hey jerk! Maybe you’re not drinking enough water!

If I’ve learned anything from the weather network [and i haven’t] it’s that the Springtime is no time to drink water. It’s raining enough as it is! Seriously, i haven’t watched a high school rugby game yet this year without getting soaked to the butt [thx for the expression uncle Harold].

So enough of this water stupidity. Let’s combat water. Get yourself a large umbrella, a fabulous rain jacket, and a bottle of Muga – the people’s rosé. Muga is the finest of rosé that you can find at the LCBO and it reminds you that warmer weather is on the way, while being delicious at the same time. That’s a win, win, win [at least]. May 13 the LCBO released this year’s vintage of Muga rosé, which is technically a rosado [that’s the way they roll in Spain]. It’s a perfectly delightful rosé and you cannot go wrong serving it, bringing it to a party, or sipping it in secret in your backyard or basement.  Better yet, stay inside and watch something on Netflix.

I have it on good authority that the Spanish don’t waste their time drinking water. Why should i?

Combating water indoors with a cozy scarf

Combating water with Netflix and time travel

Combating water with a daughter drinking grapefruit juice – heh

Previous water rants

2010 Drink More Water? 

2011 Still Drinking Water?

2012 Water – I’m not convinced

2013 Water. Again?

2015 Hyperbole

2016 Water Research


Misinformed 

I really have lived my life under the assumption had I could drive a Jeep to South America – our only friendly neighbour to the south.

I’m wrong – according to google. Look here!
Google maps tells me it’s not possible.  And those google people are presumably smarter than me.

Tonight I’m drinking a lovely wine from Argentina, and I sadly am finding out that I can’t drive there to get more.  Nevermind the fact that I may be 189 hrs of driving – an estimation I made, but honestly I’m so thrown off by google right now that I’m unquestionably questioning anything that i thought i knew.

I can’t even be certain that I purchased this lovely Trapiche Syrah at the LCBO for under $9 because that seems as crazy as a Spanish speaking border guard telling me i can’t get to Argentina from here [or an ‘merican speaking border guard for that matter].

 

 

 


Blue Jays Bubbly [why the French don’t watch baseball]

Looking for some insight on the champagne celebration in the Jays clubhouse?

As the only wine blogger with a Physed degree I want to know what they’re drinking and how much money are guys who earned a million dollars in salary this month paying for champagne.  The talking heads at Sportsnet keep referring to the expensive champagne in the clubhouse. What I found may shock you!

Firstly, why does Josh Donaldson get eye protection and Hazel Mae doesn’t?  Also, who pays for her dry cleaning?

img_7446
So it turns out the Jays aren’t pouring and spraying and possibly drinking champagne at all.  Super slow motion on my PVR shows me that they’re drinking American sparkling wine from California [ask anyone from France and watch them be outraged at this being called Champagne even though we mean no harm – WE MEAN NO HARM!] .

img_7442
And how much does it cost?  Less than $15!
img_7443These players earn obscene amounts of money – the team is owned by Rogers Communications – who i pay a thousand dollars a month for my cell phone – and they drink $15 bubbly.  Awesome! And they also drank Korbel, which is also less than $15 a bottle.
img_7444So my point here?  I think we could all afford $15 per bottle to shake up and spray all over each other if the Jays in the ALCS!  Do it, nobody from France is watching baseball anyway.