Category Archives: Wine writing

At the car wash 

I bet myself that I could write an entire blog post using my phone while sitting at the car wash.

Yes, I’m sitting for 30mins in line because it’s finally warm out and I want a clean car.  It’s actually a stupid privileged world problem – who needs a clean car? I’m even driving a Jeep, which I think is supposed to be dirty. I still don’t understand the Jeep thing.

Another thing I don’t understand is this.

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My daughter, M, thinks that instant coffee will be the next big hipster thing. Like Pabst Blue Ribbon beer [previous post here] – everyone knows it isn’t good but we drink it anyways because it’s cool and ironic.  So I made myself a cup.

How was it? If you’re thinking of trying this at home … don’t.

Hey there you go – I entertained myself and maybe brother-in -Spain, wrote about something to drink, and was inspired by my muse M to write.  I call it the blogging natural hat trick.

Seriously, don’t drink this stuff.

Still waiting for a clean Jeep


Bob’s Book

Wednesday I went to a book launch by local author, and Guelph celebrity in his own right, Bob Desautels – who most of us know as the owner of The Wooly [or the Woolwich Arrow as nobody calls it], or as I call it, “The Home Court”, as it is the closest pub to my house.  As usual I’m already not talking about what meant to talk about – Bob’s book.  I went to the launch, got a copy of Bob’s book, got it signed,  then sold it on eBay two hours later for a profit.  First edition? Author’s signature? eBay gold!

WineSense is the name of Bob’s first book. Subtitled “the three keys to understanding wine” it reads like a series of lecture notes on the topic of wine. Lecture notes interspersed with witty anecdotes and clever quotes.  I appreciated it both as an educator and somebody who knows just enough about wine to consider myself interesting in a wine conversation [I can hear brother-in-Spain shouting, “interesting to who?”].

Three weeks ago my daughter, wife, and I were sampling ales at the Wooly when Bob came over very excited to have had the first books delivered to him that very day. He brought one over like a new grandchild and gave us an introduction.  I have been anticipating getting a copy ever since.

Three favourite quotes for from the introduction of WineSense …

  • The one indisputable thing about wine is that it will cheer you up [agreed Bob, unless it’s mulled wine – i’ve got nothing good to say about mulled wine]
  • Wine just helps to bring people closer together [true, i pack 50 people in a space designed to seat 8 at my Beaujolais Nouveau party]
  • Champagne is known to be the only drink or food that a person who is seasick can digest without vomiting [after my bout with the flu I wish I’d know that 5 days ago]

I think you can learn a lot about the authors intentions from the introduction. Bob is unpretentious, knowledgeable, and his  good guy-ness comes through.  It’s an easy read and a great course in wine education.  Well done Bob.  You can order the book from Friesen Press, but don’t – buying at the Wooly seems only proper.

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From the Friesen website …

Wine is a muse for poets and ordinary folks alike, a great seducer and lifelong friend to many. It’s integral to some of the finest cultures on earth. But as simple and lovely as wine may be, the wine world can be intimidating. Many so-called experts perpetuate an elitist approach to wine, with their explanations so jargon-filled that the wine gets lost in the analysis.

WineSense cuts through the jargon and complexities wine can present. In this common-sense guide, Bob Desautels offers straightforward information on types of wine, tasting, wine history, grape varieties, approaches to winemaking, and more. His Three Keys to Understanding Wine allow the everyday wine enthusiast and the beginner to truly grasp the subject while increasing their appreciation of wine.

The ultimate purpose of this book is to teach you how to find good and consistent styles of wine that suit your palate. You’ll be able to look beyond the safe choices and search for local wines that have the best qualities of your international favourites. With a deeper understanding of wine, you’ll gain true WineSense, offering you a newfound confidence in choosing the right wine for the right time.

 


Bubbly

History is written by the victors. I’ve never stopped to think about the layered meanings of this generally agreed upon truth. Of course Columbus got to write about discovering America [even though we all know it was Bugs Bunny] and Hernán Cortés about discovering Mexico when we all really know that there were people living there doing quite well before we brought them smallpox and Walmart.

I don’t know if anyone invented bubbly before French Benedictine monk Dom Pérignon broke silence in the local abbey by shouting, “Come quickly, I have tasted the stars” [I wonder if he got shushed].  Many historians will say that the bubbles were being bottled long before Dom got all the headlines.  But whether “first in space” or not, Dom was a master winemaker. By enhancing his white wine’s ability to retain their natural sugars after the harvest,  inducing a secondary fermentation in the spring, and then bottling these wines at just the right time to capture the bubbles he did master the art of  méthode champenoise.  Which begs the question, when did he ever have time for prayer and reading – and how on earth did he ever practice humility after capturing the stars?

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While true Champagne remains an almost unaffordable luxury at $50 or more per bottle there are several other excellent sparkling wine alternatives in the $20 range including Cava – the Spanish version and my personal favourite – Prosecco – for the Italophile in the room- and Crémant – the name for French sparkling wine made outside the region of Champagne and an excellent source of tasty bubbles.

My advice to you this year is to try many of them and don’t just wait for “special occasions”.  Believe me, there is not a better special occasion than hugging your wife in the kitchen on a Tuesday night with a flute of bubbly.  It really is the only way to live your life. Ironic that a monk devoted to a life of celibacy did something in order to help solidify my marriage … don’t you think? Now who’s rewriting history?


Rene Descartes – Won’t Get Fooled Again

Did you know that Rene Descartes’ book “Meditations” is really titled Meditationes de prima philosophia, in qua Dei existentia et animæ immortalitas demonstratur. Translation: Meditations on the First Philosophy: In Which the Existence of God and the Distinction Between Mind and Body are Demonstrated.  That’s the way they rolled back in 1641.

If this blog post was a Medieval book I would probably entitle it :  The Who, Beaujolais Nouveau, and the Relevance of the Song Won’t Get Fooled Again on the Third Thursday of November: How the French Continue to Both Fool Me and Make My Life Better.

Who’s Next.  One of the greatest rock albums of all time – period. People who like this sort of thing are passionate about it aren’t they?  I have a friend [admittedly a bit of a curmudgeon] who has freaked out on people who refer to the song “Teenage Wasteland” on this album.  “The song is called Baba O’Riley! Get it right people”.

My favourite song may be “Won’t Get Fooled Again” – because the premise is of course that we all get fooled again. “Meet the old boss” anyone? “Same as the old boss”.

So I guess I’m willing to get fooled again – we all are.  At least when it comes to Beaujolais Nouveau.  The French have been scamming us [just like Vince Shlomi and the shamwow] and I don’t mind at all.  Selling fresh new wine that has only aged in the time it took them to put the juice in a bottle! Come on. In fact the French have fooled us several times over when it comes to food. Have you ever opened up a Camembert in a car in the summer?  They’re laughing at me while I gag on the gaggiest smell possible.

Next Thursday the Beaujolais Nouveau will be sold at the LCBO.  The “cookie dough” of wine is good enough to get me whipped into a frenzy year after year.  Don’t miss it.

Georges Dubœuf – with your clever little œ in your name – you are the new boss!

The Old Boss

The Old Boss

 


Shipped to Japan

As the anticipation of the release of the 2014 Beaujolais Nouveau whips itself  up into a frenzy at La Maison Oke [“my house” for those of who who prefer not to parlez] it’s nice to know that I’m not alone.

Anyone who has followed my blog [my brother and John from BC] knows that 5 years ago I built PulltheCork on the foundation of  my enthusiasm for Nouveau and my best idea ever – my annual Nouveau party.

Again, it’s not just me who gets excited. Read the following article from the Japan News. Anything the Japanese get excited about has to be good clean fun!

Less than 2 weeks to go!

Nouveau in Japan


Nobody Needs This

I’m sure that the category of “Nobody needs this” is larger than I can imagine – usually because I ignore stupid things.  But last week I saw this in a store. Add one more thing to the list of items you will ignore in a garage sale soon.

 

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Airplane wine

This is a “two hours on the tarmac” story.  Recently my family and I boarded the plane in Madrid and were kept on the ground for over 2 hours before takeoff.  The reason?  While loading the luggage somebody noticed that a screw was missing on a panel. Long story short,  a man in Montreal [Air Canada office] took 2 hours to give permission for an EU maintenance man to put in a screw.

I have several thoughts on this – mostly because I had two hours staring at the loading dock next to me.

1. Why the heck can’t I get a glass of wine while all this is going on?

2. I had time to estimate there must be at least 14000 screws on an airplane minimum

3. There’s no way that was the only screw missing and the chance that screw was a safety hazard?  Come on.

4. I asked my kids how many screws they thought were in  a plane like this. “One less than there should have been” was their reply. Kids don’t care. They just sit there and watch Spiderman. Twice!

Now if by “screw” they meant “engine number 2″ then my apologies Air Canada.

Scruffy Scruffington, where were you when I needed you?

Scruffy


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