Its that time of year again where I address my concerns to the majority of the population who still think it’s a good idea to drink water – a myth exaggerated and perpetuated by what Fox News is now calling the “Water Right”.
These water people like sticking to “tried and true” health practices . I hear things like “if water was good enough for my grandmother …”. I remind these people that gramma readily consumed Mercury to cure anything for a scraped knee to muscle pain.
Me, I like to approach this not as an historian, or even a scientist, but rather as a fear-mongering blogger. Who in their right mind ingests an odourlesss, colourless, tasteless liquid? Especially when there are several excellent bottles of flowery, salmon-hued, delicious chilled bottles of rosé that are good for you.
Also, the few times I’ve tried to “hydrate” myself I found that I needed to pee frequently – Travis doesn’t need that again.
My prescription this summer is Muga rosado. Available at the LCBO for under $14. It seems like a wise choice to me. Hopefully someday one of my grandchildren will be heard saying “if it was good enough for my grandpa …”
Water. Some say it’s healthy for you – some say it’s dangerous [maybe that’s just me trying again to get you to drink rosé].
On the internet I found a site called webMD [whatever that’s supposed to mean] that gave me 6 “Health Benefits” of Water. It was written by a “water” person who calls herself Kathleen M. Zelman MPH, RD, LD [what the heck kind of degrees are those and why so secretive about your middle name?]
She makes the outrageous claim that drinking water can affect the saliva levels in your mouth [come on] and then gets into the scare tactics from there – mentioning such things as kidneys and bowels in order to frighten you. Why doesn’t she try the “everyone else is doing it” argument?
Let’s look at this realistically. I haven’t talked to one rational person who would put an odourless, colourless, tasteless liquid in their mouth unless it was a dare.
This summer I’m drinking rosé if I’m thirsty. That’s what a rational person would do.
Note from the author – This is my 4th attempt in 4 years to use scare mongering tactics to convince people to drink rosé. You can see my other attempts here.
2010 2011 2012
For the past 3 years I have tried to point out the insanity of drinking water instead of rosé. Odourless, colourless, tasteless? Who puts that in their body? This is what my new research on the internet has found – and it wasn’t easy to research as most sites still tell you that water is good for you.
- Water contains bacteria – eek
- A woman lost her sight drinking too much water – that’s one too many for me
- The human body is mostly water already – so why waste your time
- Water vapour is invisible as a gas – it may be around you and you don’t even know it!
- The water molecule carries a slight negative charge – NEGATIVE CHARGE!
If those 5 facts, from internet sources including Wikipedia, don’t convince you then maybe the Vintages annual release of Spanish rosado – Muga – will.
MUGA ROSÉ 2011
Price: $ 12.95
Made in: Rioja, Spain
By: Bodegas Muga S.A.
Release Date: May 12, 2012
So another study has come out telling us to drink more water. I hope you know how I feel about this – it’s ridiculous. Last year I spoke of the dangers of water – encouraging people to drink rosé instead. Apparently I need to address this annually.
The perils of dihydrogen monoxide, or “water” as the water people call it, are well-known. This chemical can cause a host of unpleasant conditions including excessive sweating and frequent urination. As if that’s not enough it is also capable of corroding many metals, is used as a fire-retardant, and in the production of Styrofoam. I think we all agree that anything involved in the production of Styrofoam can’t be good even if none of us really know why.
As I’ve said before, what person in their right mind would drink an odourless, colourless, tasteless liquid. It’s crazy talk. “Stone cold crazy”, according to Freddy Mercury – by all accounts a reliable source of reason.
Oh, by the way, the LCBO just got in a shipment of the 2009 Muga rosé. It’s delicious. Go get some!
MUGA ROSÉ 2010
Spain | Bodegas Muga S.A.
VINTAGES 603795 | 750 mL | $ 12.95
A recent study indicated that drinking water is good for you.
Water! – odourless, colourless, tasteless. Sounds dangerous to me. And “they” want me to drink 2 litres of it a day because some ridiculous health claim is attached to it? Sounds like somebody is justifying research money again.
They aren’t the boss of me. Why should I waste my time on an odourless and tasteless liquid?
(For the record Hydrogen Peroxide Solution, liquid Argon, and liquid Helium are also on the list of colourless and odourless liquids that you can’t make me drink)
Some will argue that we are 97% water? Not me – I’m 97% skeptical of these so-called “water people”. This summer give me a nice glass of rosé instead. Doesn’t that sound like better advice?
From this Saturday’s vintage release I highly recommend the Muga Rosé. Also, I’m pretty sure it’s good for you.
MUGA ROSÉ 2009
VINTAGES 603795 $ 12.95