So each year i write about the dangers of drinking water and the merits of a nice rosé. My research this year has uncovered the Water Conspiracy – a conspiracy of epic proportions that runs so deep that you get zero search results for those words on google. Who has that kind of power?
I’ve been onto the so called “water people” for years – colourless, odourless, tasteless – it’s insane that anyone drinks it. I wouldn’t smoke anything colourless, odourless, or tasteless! But there must be big money in water because nobody challenges them on anything. Who’s heard these … “Drink 12 litres of water a day everybody”, or this one, “stay hydrated”. Big money is behind this for sure – IMF kinda big, OPEC big, Illuminati big.
So here’s what i just discovered. Somebody has been infiltrating other beverages with water! Ready for this …
- Beer is made with water – grain, water, and yeast
- Whiskey is made with water – grain, water, and yeast [this discovery actually made me cry]
- Vodka and soda has some water in it
- Ice is almost 100% water – fact.
- Gin and tonic has water IN THE TONIC!
You know what doesn’t have water in it? Rosé wine. Not a drop of water. Just pure, pressed grapes, running their sweet pink nectar fermented by Bacchus himself – preferred by Jesus [that was his FIRST miracle everyone]. Let me reiterate – there is no water in your glass of rosé.
I’m willing to rewrite every geography textbook for the Flat Earth Society before i allow these Water people to invade my rosé with their water.
Previous water rants
2010 Drink More Water?
2011 Still Drinking Water?
2012 Water – I’m not convinced
2013 Water. Again?
2016 Water Research
2017 Combating Water
So I joined the cashless economy this week exchanging labor for beer tickets, not a bad way to love your life huh?
4 oz glasses are cute at the i❤️beer festival
Barrel aged ESB from @lagershed – winner
Also, my hand looks huge huh?
And hey, why wouldn’t I try …
Must be the Swede in me that gravitates that way. Thanks Great-Grandpa Jacobson.
Blackberry Boch from @cowbellbrewery
Pong tournament in 15 mins
If you haven’t been to a cask beer festival then I implore you to do so soon.
Casks of beer are often made in smaller batches so brewers can experiment and have some fun. Combining different hops, roasts, fruit, the brewers than use some voodoo to make the ales, lagers, sours, and ciders.
Last week we attended the Welly Cask Fest at Wellington Brewery in Guelph.
It’s so much fun that even the cider got “bunny-eared” during a photo.
My winners were
- Wit the Hell – a Chardonnay barrel aged Witbier by TWB brewing coop in KW
- KY2-7 – a barrel aged American sour with plums by Wellington
- Lucy’s Orange Beret – a hopped cider with oranges by Revel cider that tasted like a mimosa
My only mistake was the ghost pepper milk stout that had I finished it would have finished me. Still, what doesn’t kill you …wait, that almost killed me.
Find a cask days near you if you can.
21 years ago some fine person started aging this rum for me. I think that was very thoughtful of them
So as not to offend I drank some
Also, it was delicious
I’ve been a coffee lover for 20 years now. In my quest for a personal vice I’ve become an espresso lover.
While visiting a Starbucks [conveniently tucked inside a Chapters bookstore] I noticed someone else indulging in his espresso habit.
Holy hot espresso Batman …
This is not photo-shopped – the coffee cupping caped crusader apparently loves his latte!