Water Conspiracy Theory

So each year i write about the dangers of drinking water and the merits of a nice rosé.  My research this year has uncovered the Water Conspiracy – a conspiracy of epic proportions that runs so deep that you get zero search results for those words on google.  Who has that kind of power?

I’ve been onto the so called “water people” for years – colourless, odourless, tasteless – it’s insane that anyone drinks it. I wouldn’t smoke anything colourless, odourless, or tasteless! But there must be big money in water because nobody challenges them on anything. Who’s heard these … “Drink 12 litres of water a day everybody”, or this one, “stay hydrated”. Big money is behind this for sure – IMF kinda big, OPEC big, Illuminati big.

So here’s what i just discovered.  Somebody has been infiltrating other beverages with water!  Ready for this …

1. Beer is made with water – grain, water, and yeast
2. Whiskey is made with water – grain, water, and yeast [this discovery actually made me cry]
3. Vodka and soda has some water in it
4. Ice is almost 100% water – fact.
5. Gin and tonic has water IN THE TONIC!

You know what doesn’t have water in it? Rosé wine. Not a drop of water. Just pure, pressed grapes, running their sweet pink nectar fermented by Bacchus himself – preferred by Jesus [that was his FIRST miracle everyone]. Let me reiterate – there is no water in your glass of rosé.

I’m willing to rewrite every geography textbook for the Flat Earth Society before i allow these Water people to invade my rosé with their water.

Previous water rants

2010 Drink More Water? 

2011 Still Drinking Water?

2012 Water – I’m not convinced

2013 Water. Again?

2015 Hyperbole

2016 Water Research

2017 Combating Water

Live @ the i❤️beer

So I joined the cashless economy this week exchanging labor for beer tickets, not a bad way to love your life huh?

4 oz glasses are cute at the i❤️beer festival

Barrel aged ESB from @lagershed – winner

Also, my hand looks huge huh?

And hey, why wouldn’t I try …

Must be the Swede in me that gravitates that way. Thanks Great-Grandpa Jacobson.

Blackberry Boch from @cowbellbrewery

Pong tournament in 15 mins

Oke out

Wee Dram

Scotland be like …

Get Ye to a Cask Days

If you haven’t been to a cask beer festival then I implore you to do so soon. 

Casks of beer are often made in smaller batches so brewers can experiment and have some fun.  Combining different hops, roasts, fruit, the brewers than use some voodoo to make the ales, lagers, sours, and ciders.

Last week we attended the Welly Cask Fest at Wellington Brewery in Guelph.

It’s so much fun that even the cider got “bunny-eared” during  a photo.

My winners were 

1. Wit the Hell – a Chardonnay barrel aged Witbier by TWB brewing coop in KW
2. KY2-7 – a barrel aged American  sour with plums by Wellington
3. Lucy’s Orange Beret – a hopped cider with oranges by Revel cider that tasted like a mimosa

My only mistake was the ghost pepper milk stout that had I finished it would have finished me. Still, what doesn’t kill you …wait, that almost killed me.

Find a cask days near you if you can. 

21 years ago

21 years ago some fine person started aging this rum for me. I think that was very thoughtful of them

So as not to offend I drank some
Also, it was delicious
Merry Christmas

Who drinks espresso?

I’ve been a coffee lover for 20 years now. In my quest for a personal vice I’ve become an espresso lover.
While visiting a Starbucks [conveniently tucked inside a Chapters bookstore] I noticed someone else indulging in his espresso habit.
Look closely.

Holy hot espresso Batman …

It’s Batman

This is not photo-shopped – the coffee cupping caped crusader apparently loves his latte!

Wine Rating Controversy

There is quite the controversy brewing over how professionals rate the wine that they drink?  The National Post recently published an article entitled “Vintage snobbery: Are wine critics fooling us into buying pricier bottles?“

Which brings me to my own wine rating systems which reduce wine snobbery and elitism to a minimum.

1.  “Mmm, yum” get used most often in my house closely followed by the
2. “do we have another bottle of this?” method.
3. I have also endorsed the coliseum method – Thumbs Up or Thumbs Down
4. And finally I have sadly used the “Plonk” rating for wines that deserve a quick death

Any rating system more complicated than these are really superfluous aren’t they?