Survival Pack

Camping is not really a family activity for my family.  I’m often reminded that my wife’s idea of camping is a nice Bed and Breakfast, but truthfully she prefers a 4-star hotel when camping.

So when my daughter M and I decided to plant our micro-farm this long weekend [really it’s just a tiny garden] i thought that since we were going to be outdoors all day a survival pack might be helpful.  Truthfully i’m a lot more “outdoorsy” than i’m letting on but let me run with this okay.

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The Muskoka Brewery survival pack comes with 8 cans of four different Muskoka summer products – the dry hopped Detour IPA, Summerweiss – a sessionable wheat beer, Cream Ale – their signature ale, and Craft Lager – quaffable with a surprisingly flavourful finish.

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See how they fit in so well with my suburban wilderness [I know, they’re seedlings on a table in my backyard].

So some gardening, sorry microfarming, with my daughter, some drinking of the survival beers, and a couple hours in the sun later we were both hydrated [at least], satisfied because our hands were dirty, and feeling pretty smug [we both do that well] about the entire thing.

IMG_0463The Muskoka Survival pack is available at the LCBO and the Beer Store starting this weekend.


Hyperbole

Its that time of year again where I address my concerns to the majority of the population who still think it’s a good idea to drink water – a myth exaggerated and perpetuated by what Fox News is now calling the “Water Right”. 

These water people like sticking to “tried and true” health practices .  I hear things like “if water was good enough for my grandmother …”. I remind these people that gramma readily  consumed Mercury to cure anything for a scraped knee to muscle pain. 

Me, I like to approach this not as an historian, or even a scientist, but rather as a fear-mongering blogger.  Who in their right mind ingests an odourlesss, colourless, tasteless liquid?  Especially when there are several excellent bottles of flowery, salmon-hued, delicious chilled bottles of rosé that are good for you.

Also, the few times I’ve tried to “hydrate” myself I found that I needed to pee frequently – Travis doesn’t need that again.

My prescription this summer is Muga rosado.  Available at the LCBO for under $14. It seems like a wise choice to me. Hopefully someday one of my grandchildren will be heard saying “if it was good enough for my grandpa …”

     


Coexisting

I was enjoying a Wellington SPA on the patio at the Wooly with my good friend R.  “There’s a fly, or wasp, in your pint” I commented.  “That’s the least of my concerns” was his reply. And he proceeded to keep the not-so-little insect in his drink.

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“What a good attitude”, i thought to myself. Why squabble over something as innocuous as an insect that just wants some slightly hoppy pale ale today. We can certainly coexist. This little bee is certainly not ruining my day in any respect – maybe we can just get along.  R gets his pint and the wasp gets his fermented sugar.

A couple of days later i found myself in 20 degree weather sitting on the OX patio. There wasn’t much space but 4 women were very nice and allowed me to share their table. I assured them that i was there to read and have a pint and wouldn’t bother them. They allowed me to coexist in their space in that little oasis in downtown Guelph. That’s when this happened.

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Yes, a black fly in my “chardonnay” [Alannis], or rather Royal City dry hopped IPA.  My first instinct was to remove the little pest.  Then i remember the kindness of others. My friend R allowing the wasp to stay, my new writer friends allowing me to sit with them in the sunshine.  Monsieur la mouche [french] wasn’t really bothering anyone. Earlier in the week my daughter M and i had the “killing one fly doesn’t change the world for the better so why not let him live” conversation. So i let him coexist.  If i’ve learned anything from M, R, and my new patio friends at OX, it’s that maybe we can all get along and that makes for a better world.

IMG_9815Maybe you find that a little uncomfortable to think about drinking a pint with a fly in it – but i decided to coexist and it felt good.  Try it yourself sometime this week.

PS – i realize that it looks like i was writing about coexisting and friends and learning stuff from my daughter, but i did recommend two excellent patio beer that you might want to try. See what i did there?


First in Space

Sometimes a man [which I’m] needs to do something noteworthy and daring – to bleed to know he’s alive.  And since my bridge jumping days are over this is what i came up with.

I’ve done my part to get spring kickstarted by being the first person on two different patios in Guelph already. Some people are comparing it to Neil Armstrong’s giant leap for mankind – admittedly it’s not “some people”, it’s only me. Yet the servers at both establishments were suitably impressed. So this blog post is really a guide to being first in space [opening patios] after a ridiculously cold [i.e. nobody believes in global warming anymore] winter.

OX was the first up in early March. I picked OX because it’s sheltered from the wind and a bit of an oasis in downtown Guelph. My adventure opening the patio at the Wooly came later.

  • Step 1 – bring a blanket, metal chairs are cold on the bum. Bring a friend so that you can both convince yourself this was a good idea when you get numb.
  • Step 2- walk up to the bar and order a stout or brown ale, something that has roasted malts.  An hoppy IPA will do if you can’t find a brown ale suitable to your tastes.
  • Step 3 – walk through the bar, open the patio door like you know what you’re doing, and set up camp. Beer in the snow, blanket protecting your gluteals
  • Step 4 – be a little smug

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IMG_9292One small step for man …


Nobody’s here

So I’m blogging today from Van Gogh’s Ear. Watching El Classico – watching Barca score early as Luis Suarez [the player who regularly bites other players ] is falling and rolling like he’s been shot.  So yeah , typical futbol.  Cristiano Ronaldo gets booed each time he touches the ball – I don’t think that’s very nice, I don’t personally boo people because I don’t think it’s nice.

But nobody’s here – and out of the 5 people here I’m the only one drinking beer? Where even am I?

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The white thing is the TV – the brown thing my Tankhouse Ale [$5.75].  Is everyone taking  a crazy pill except me? Don’t  beer and soccer go together?

So by my count  there’s 1 carafe of wine [barça fan] and 5 glasses of water.  Maybe they know something I don’t know? Maybe I’m smarter than they are? Either way I’m booing  them during halftime.

 

 


At the car wash 

I bet myself that I could write an entire blog post using my phone while sitting at the car wash.

Yes, I’m sitting for 30mins in line because it’s finally warm out and I want a clean car.  It’s actually a stupid privileged world problem – who needs a clean car? I’m even driving a Jeep, which I think is supposed to be dirty. I still don’t understand the Jeep thing.

Another thing I don’t understand is this.

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My daughter, M, thinks that instant coffee will be the next big hipster thing. Like Pabst Blue Ribbon beer [previous post here] – everyone knows it isn’t good but we drink it anyways because it’s cool and ironic.  So I made myself a cup.

How was it? If you’re thinking of trying this at home … don’t.

Hey there you go – I entertained myself and maybe brother-in -Spain, wrote about something to drink, and was inspired by my muse M to write.  I call it the blogging natural hat trick.

Seriously, don’t drink this stuff.

Still waiting for a clean Jeep


Irish or Scottish?

“Here’s to your health” is a good traditional toast while raising a glass amongst friends and family. Recently i have been drawn to such a toast with either a whiskey or a whisky. “What’s the difference” you say? “Did you misspell that?”.  People new to partaking in a “dram” of the spirit made from mashed grains may not even know that the Irish version is called Whiskey [with an e] and the Scottish version, more commonly known as Scotch, is Whisky [no e].

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More importantly to the point.  A friend of mine, Professor R we can call him [University prof] recently found this article.  10 Health Benefits of Whiskey.

I have at home  the very good BushMills Black Bush [$37 LCBO#: 61374] and the delightfully smooth Auchentoshan Three Wood Scotch Whisky [$80 LCBO#: 720532] – which is only opened when my daughter M is in town. Maybe it’s the DNA speaking, or maybe it’s just a freakin’ good scotch, but we both love it.  I think I like it because it’s aged initially in bourbon casks and then finished in Oloroso and Pedro Ximenez casks. Bourbon and then Spanish Sherry – I like both those things.

Back to Professor R. Now I call him “Professor R, the Enabler”. Thanks for the encouragement. Here’s to my health.

 


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