Waiter … this is ridiculous

Me: Waiter, what’s this fly doing in my beer?

Waiter: Sir, I believe it’s hopping.

 

 

Full disclosure – the hop is in my beer because my daughter, M, threw it into my Riverside IPA for fun. That’s what she does. Why did she have a hop in her hand waiting to place it into my drink?  We were at Royal City brewery – where we had just delivered my backyard harvest of hops for their [or rather “our”] community brew.

What do hops do for beer? I have heard them best described as the “spice of beer”. Which is way better than having the “spice” of a fly in your drink – don’t you think.

At the end of the month we get to go pick up a couple of cans of the Community Brew – weeeeeee.

 

“Garçon, il y a une mouche!”

The best way to wreck a joke is either to mess up the timing, or to get the words wrong.  Last week i was reminded of the classic, “waiter, there’s a fly in my soup” joke.

Except that’s not how the joke goes! “Waiter, what’s this fly doing in my soup?” is the delivery — opening up the waiter to so many funny lines including, the back stroke, treading water, etc. The pun is in the word “doing”.

That’s me Blogsplaining – fun right?

Last week I found this little guy in my rosé.  What was he doing in my glass of wine I asked myself?  I’d say he was enjoying himself immensely.  Let’s put it this way, when was the last time you found a fly in your water?  Flies have discerning taste – why would they waste their precious tiny life span on water when there’s a delicious rosé to be had. I admire his commitment to the wine – no sipping, full immersion.  So while you can attract more flies with honey, you can’t teach them to drink. I gently lifted monsieur la mouche out of the glass and let him stumble around on my counter until he dried up and flew away. I suppose I should have called an Uber.

The wine was Muga rosé, or rosado in Spanish, and was delicious. It always is. There’s a new lot just in at the LCBO and it’s a perfect mid-summer drink – just ask monsieur la mouche, an insect of discerning taste.

Muga Rosé 750 mL bottle  |   VINTAGES#:  603795

$15.95

LCBO tasting notes – This blend of Garnacha, Viura and Tempranillo is a classic rosé from Muga. It features impressive tangy red berry, citrus, peach and rosewater tones in a lively, fresh package. A wine that will show tremendous versatility with food. Try it with seafood, salads, grilled chicken or even burgers.

 

ISO Martini

One of my research assignments is “ISO the perfect Martini”.  I’ve done a lot of research – not just drinking, but also asking around and asking people who think about such things.  I have a three page correspondence from an esteemed faculty member of the prestigious Ivey Business School on his own research and thoughts!

While i sit with all that, and consider a book publication, i wonder if the martini is so personal that it’s somehow linked to one’s own DNA/heritage.

If so, I believe I’ve discovered the perfect Swedish Martini all one my own.  Although the Jacobson part of my family that immigrated from Sweden were almost certainly teetotalers, there is something about this recipe that hits to my core.

Swedish Martini recipe

2 parts Vodka

I part Martini glass

One small ice cube [really small]

Whisper the words “pickled herring” and “vermouth” as you drop the ice cube in the martini glass

Garnish with a toast to the Tre Kronor and repeat

 

 

Hello Bubbles

This new year start saying hello to bubbles more often. In fact, if you start using “bubbles” as an endearing nickname for other people then nobody will catch on to the fact that you are in fact talking to your drink.  You can say things like “hello bubbles”, “good to see you again bubbles”, and “i love you bubbles, i hope we are together forever”. Then drink your bubbles.

Bubbles a la sabrage

 

Consider yourself sabred Bubbles

 

Hola Senor Bubbles Cava

 

Autumn Bubbles

 

Vinyl Bubbles Cremant

 

Life Vessel

Wine can save your life [emotionally]- FACT.  So pick out your vessel, hold on tight, and enjoy yourself.

What vessel do you drink out of?  Are you a glassware snob? Do you use a Glencairn for whiskey? A Riedel Shiraz glass for your best Aussie? Just check out the never-ending list of “correct” vessels to drink from at the Riedel site – or don’t, it’s boring,  but awesome.

I’m one of those people who regularly falls off the couch watching Brooklyn 99. Perhaps my very favourite scene is when Sgt Terry [of old spice fame] is shocked that Cpt Holt is so depressed that he didn’t stop to sniff the bouquet. “But you always sniff the bouquet!”.  “Maybe the old Holt did. But the new Holt chugs Beaujolais from a Burgundy glass without a care. [staring at glass] Oh, it’s a Sauternes glass.” I really did find that “fall off the couch” funny.

So … what is the best vessel / glass?  I had a friend ask me that recently.  The answer is so easy that a wine blogger with a PE degree from York could answer it.  Whichever one makes you happy – FACT.  Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise – they’re dumb.

I’ve been watching Game of Thrones with this

 

I drink my sparkling wines like this

Or this

I drink my whiskey in this

 

I drink my martinis in this

 

 

I drink my vodka the same way

I drink out of whatever vessel i want to – and i hang on and don’t let anyone take it from me.  You should too.  It makes living better – FACT

Nectar in Nature and Noble Dogs

This past week i adventured my way into the wilderness of Muskoka and then backroaded my doorless Jeep to a Cidery in the middle of the S. Ontario countryside.

I’m blogging this blog with blog pictures.  Blog.

While off the grid in Lagoon City …

I ventured off the beaten path [see what i did there muskoka brewers?] to Muskoka Brewery. A craft beer oasis in the heart of mosquito cottage country…

where i especially enjoyed the “guerrilla taps” [you have to ask for the secret taps] offering of the Gose and the newly LCBO’d All Eyes on Yuzu – an American Pale Ale with hint of Yuzu fruit I got a private tour, mostly because i sat down and pet Bree the dog who loved me so much and next thing i know i’m privy to the secrets of Muskoka Brewery.  True Story.

After getting home to Guelph, I took the doors off the jeep …. weeeeeeee

and took the backroads with Wm. Shakespeare’s words in mind, “get thee to a Cidery”. I easily found West Avenue Cider House, [30 mins from Guelph, 15 from Hamilton] said hello to the chickens running around and ordered up.

Took my drinks outside. Put up my feet ….

and enjoyed the  appley nectar how sweet baby Bacchus intended it to be enjoyed – outdoors on an apple orchard. You can’t believe what they do with apple juice –  barrel aged, wild fermented, mullberried, vinified, and so many other clever ways that the brewmaster makes their cider.  It really is so much fun. You can hold the chickens and pet Rosie – the noble beast of a dog who resides at West Ave.

Disclaimer – no actual gorillas were harmed researching this blog. Also, i never really paid attention in English class.

 

WOWEE – Stoli Gold

One of the funniest Oke family references is … “Before u leave the house, think of the acromyn ‘WOWEE’

Wallet, phOne, Wkeys, Egg, Back up Egg

I don’t even pretend to understand the level of silliness that makes my daughters tick. Actually, I do try to understand, but mostly just nod and laugh at/with them.

This past week my daughter M and i discovered Stolichnaya Gold Vodka. Dang, those Latvians make a fine vodka.  I was also interested in drinking “Stoli” after watching Stranger Things [i won’t spoil anything]. Stoli Gold [as the cool LCBO workers call it] is on sale right now and is delicious served straight at room temperature – it’s equally delicious served out of the freezer with a grapefruit peel. I do love the oily film that the freezer gives my vodka. I also love how pretty it photographs.

Stoli Gold – now the official vodka of pullthecork, so i bought a backup.

Egg, backup egg

Stolichnaya Gold Vodka 750 mL bottle  |   LCBO#:  557827

$31.95 WAS $34.95 SAVE $3.00 Limited Time Offer
Until July 21, 2019

 

 

 

Viognier and Jello

What else needs to be said. Summer is here and i’m pairing a floral white wine from Chile with blue flavoured jello.

Cono Sur Bicicleta Viognier

 

750 mL bottle  |   LCBO#:  64287

$10.00

House Whiskey Rules

I love rules.  I love making them up.

I’m crafting a house whiskey rule.  It’s loosely based on the the “dating somebody younger than you” rule [that rule is “half your age + 7, so i’ve been told].

*btw – house whiskey, according to Urban Dictionary.com, is the whiskey that you normally drink and don’t save for a special occasion.

My house whiskey gets more expensive every year so I made up a House Whiskey Rule. “My age – $15” is my new price point.

This allows the younger people to buy up Johnnie Walker Red and Crown Royal whatever it’s called and leaves me with a good selection of choices.

Right now my new rule allows me to drink Jameson Caskmates. Well played Travis. At $39 a bottle one can only guess my age. Dang I look good for $39.

 

Also, I can look forward to growing into more expensive house whiskies. If I live to the age of 315 I can drink Johnnie Walker Blue every day! Happy thought indeed.

They did surgery on a grape

They did surgery on a grape.

The internet is exploding with stories about the surgery they performed on a grape.  There are few details about this surgery – likely due to patient confidentiality – but let me summarize what we do know…

1. There was a grape
2. And they did surgery on it

So what i find interesting about this is that i write a wine blog and had no idea about the fact that they did surgery on a grape until my daughter alerted me to it. Furthermore, she only has a twitter account so that she can follow Myrna Tellingheusen and The Last Blockbuster – so i don’t really know how she found out before I did.

It really is a magical world that we live in.

All this talk about grapes makes me think about the miracle of social media, surgery, and wine.

If I can offer a suggestion …

Drink Jackson Trigg’s Meritage [Cab Franc, Cab Sauvignon, Merlot blend]. It’s like gene splitting of three grape’s dna. And the splitting of grape dna has to be the next big internet sensation.